Dear Bashar Assad lovers: This message is directed to all of you.
I am not against you loving him, the heart wants what the heart wants, right?
But there are rules that you have to follow when showing your love for him.
1- You shouldn’t try to force me to love him, cause it simply won’t work (قال حبني و خود جحش , قالو المحبة ما بتصير دحش)
2- Don’t kill me, or threaten me for not loving him or for hating him because that’s a personal matter and it’s not up to you, and I can love whoever I want. (الأسد أو لا أحد؟ عنجد؟)
3- Keep your love to yourself or show it in a decent way, don’t go out in the streets like a maniac and shove his photos in our faces all day long.
4- Accept the fact that he’s a murderer and an asshole, I mean look at Hitler, millions loved him, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a mass murderer and a huge asshole. It’s ok to love an asshole, as long as you don’t become an asshole like him.
Now I’ll give you an example that shows how you should show your love.
You love Bashar Assad, good for you, give him a call, or send him a text, or an email, write him a love song, buy him flowers, suggest a place to meet, and go fuck him in the ass or let him fuck you. Do your freaky thing. Get it on with him. Show him how much you love him inside you.
You love Bashar and Maher Assad? Even better, go have a 3 some and make love all night long! But be careful, Hasan Nasrallah might get jealous and want in.
You see, I love Megan Fox, but you don’t see me holding her photos in the streets, and shooting people who don’t like her. No. That’s not love. I show my love by stalking her and stealing her underwear when she’s not looking. Why can’t you do the same for Bashar Assad?
In the end, I want to tell you that I bless your love for Assad, and I really hope you score.
In fact I hope he loves you back so much that he leaves his wife and kids and runs away with you somewhere so the both of you live happily ever after.
PS. Don’t forget to buy condoms. Safety first you know!